The Rise and Fall of Narcissism: How Self-Obsession Changes Over a Lifetime
For years, the debate has raged: is narcissism on the rise? Are younger generations more self-absorbed than their predecessors, or are we simply witnessing a shift in societal expectations? A 2019 study by William J. Chopik and Kevin J. Grimm, published in Psychology and Aging, provides some much-needed clarity—though the findings might not sit well with everyone.
The Life Cycle of Narcissism
Narcissism is often thought of as a stable personality trait, but this study, which tracked individuals from ages 13 to 77, suggests otherwise. The researchers found that while certain narcissistic tendencies persist, others fade with age.
Maladaptive forms of narcissism, such as hypersensitivity and willfulness, tend to decline as people grow older. Meanwhile, individual autonomy—the ability to think and act independently—actually increases over time. In other words, the self-centered teenager throwing a tantrum over their curfew is unlikely to be the same person at 60, when they've learned to navigate life with a bit more grace (or at least, fewer emotional outbursts).
The Generational Divide: Who’s Really the Most Narcissistic?
One of the most striking findings in the study is the generational difference in narcissistic traits. Individuals born in later generations (post-1930s) were found to be less hypersensitive and more autonomous compared to earlier-born cohorts. This challenges the popular narrative that younger generations are uniquely fragile or self-absorbed. In fact, it turns out that the very people who like to complain about “kids these days” might have been more self-centered in their own youth.
So, are we saying that older generations were more narcissistic? Well, yes and no. While youth and self-involvement often go hand in hand, older individuals—particularly those from earlier birth cohorts—showed higher levels of hypersensitivity even into later adulthood. This sensitivity manifests in various ways, from struggling with criticism to resisting technological changes and social shifts.
Enter the Xennials: Bridging the Generational Gap
Amidst the generational discussions, the term "Xennial" has emerged to describe those born between 1977 and 1983. This micro-generation bridges the gap between Generation X and Millennials, embodying traits from both cohorts. Xennials experienced an analog childhood and a digital adulthood, making them uniquely positioned to adapt to rapid technological changes. Their formative years were marked by a blend of Gen X's skepticism and Millennials' optimism, potentially influencing their narcissistic traits in distinct ways.
Why Do Narcissistic Traits Decline with Age?
If narcissism declines as people get older, what’s driving this change? The study suggests several possible explanations:
Life Experience: Aging brings a series of humbling moments—career failures, family struggles, and health challenges—that force people to reconsider their sense of self-importance.
Social Expectations: Society tends to tolerate youthful arrogance but expects maturity and humility from older adults. Those who cling too tightly to narcissistic traits may find themselves increasingly isolated.
Brain Chemistry: Neurological changes associated with aging may contribute to a decrease in impulsivity and self-centered thinking.
A Cultural Shift in Narcissism
It’s not just individuals who change; societal attitudes toward narcissism have evolved as well. While Baby Boomers were sometimes encouraged to express themselves unapologetically, later generations have grown up in a world that increasingly values emotional intelligence and social awareness. In an era of online accountability, where every opinion can be challenged in real-time, younger generations have had to develop thicker skin and a more nuanced understanding of how their actions affect others.
Contrast this with earlier generations, where hierarchy and respect for authority were more rigid. The belief that age automatically confers wisdom (rather than adaptability and continued learning) may explain why some older individuals resist feedback or struggle with change. Many seem to bristle at the idea that the world has moved beyond their youthful perspectives.
So, What Does This Mean for the Future?
If narcissism tends to decline with age, does this mean we should just wait for the problem to solve itself? Not exactly. While the study provides a hopeful perspective, it also underscores the importance of fostering emotional intelligence and resilience across all age groups.
For younger generations, this means continuing to challenge outdated stereotypes about their supposed fragility. For older generations, it’s a reminder that personal growth doesn’t stop at 40, 50, or even 70.
The takeaway? No generation has a monopoly on narcissism. But as we all get older, we’d do well to remember: the world isn’t as much about us as we once thought.
References
Chopik, W. J., & Grimm, K. J. (2019). Longitudinal changes and historic differences in narcissism from adolescence to older adulthood. Psychology and Aging, 34(8), 1109–1123. https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000379
News.com.au. (n.d.). What is a Xennial and why is there so much confusion around who came up with it? Retrieved from https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/what-is-a-xennial-and-why-is-there-so-much-confusion-around-who-came-up-with-it/news-story/4b94598f1c604895303ae380cb24de6a
